I admit I have trouble blogging. I forced myself to sit down and start writing this. I also admit I spend too much time on facebook. I do wonder if any of that time is worthwhile. It is. I've learned so much from various articles being passed around and I've made new friends or rekindled old friendships. The fact that it is a social networking and informational tool goes without saying. But I still spend too much time on it. Too much, because it cuts into time I could spend writing things with more depth.

What have I been doing lately? Kids are off from school so I've basically been the ring leader of a circus. We have kids, kittens, snails, tadpoles and a big stinky dog. There is also a husband who needs constant attention (though he doesn't always get it). Then of course there's cleaning and cooking. One wonders where I have any time to do anything else? I tend the garden too, and try to take walks, go jogging and.... gasp - write!

It's really strange that I identify myself with the fact that I am a "writer" and yet I do it so seldom these days. My novel (#2) is about 75% finished. I've been working on it for three years. I'm tired of it. I love it. It's my darling, my baby... I guess what I'm tired of is the emotions that come with it. Mainly the "I'm not good enough" emotions in their various forms. And I'm ashamed that it has taken me this long to get only 3/4 of the way through it. But I am a mother to a very demanding boy and also a stepmother and Queen of the Hill here in PA, which includes all of the aforementioned creatures in my care. I also need to sleep sometimes.

Today my big thrill was buying myself new headbands at the dollar section in Target.

Oh, and the box of merlot sitting on my counter.

Life is pretty good even if we're on a tight budget and we're teetering on the edge of sanity. I asked for all of this. I did. I was in my twenties and free and I said I wanted a farmhouse and a husband who was a musician and a bunch of kids and look what I got. And I only had to birth one of them. Another woman did the work with the older two. I really did get what I asked for with my life situation AND also with these kittens we have now. So if I can manifest those things, how about something else like... a finished novel and a book deal? A new car? Money?

Okay!

Time to go stir our dinner so it doesn't burn.